After the Reynolds Pamphlet
by girlinblack137
Summary: One-shot that takes place after the Reynolds pamphlet, and involves Angelica being amazing, along with some Hameliza and Hamgelica moments (because I ship them both).
**(Angelica's P.O.V)**

Eliza sits next to me, sobbing. I hold my sister close to me, gently rubbing her back. I stroke her long hair, which is a mess from crying. I let her cry for a while, like she's been doing all night. I had already been coming to visit from England, so I'm glad for that, or else it would take months to arrive.

"Shh, shh. It's all right, Eliza. Everything is going to be okay." I reassure her, pulling her closer into a hug. She shoots up quickly, and turns to me with a tear stained face.

"No it won't. Angelica, how could he? He said he loved me. He promised me. _I_ loved him. How could he betray me like this? I loved him and he betrayed me for that, that" she's cut off by a sob, the kind so powerful it takes over your body. She let's out a wail, and I don't know what to do. I've always been the older sister, the one who watches over Eliza and Peggy. The one who protects them, saves them. But I have no idea what to do.

I can't help her with my own experiences. I'm stuck in an awful marriage overseas. So all I can do is rub her back and try to reassure her. But, _how could he?_ I thought he was smarter than this. I loved that he was so intelligent, so different. But apparently, he's no different at all. Unfaithful, incompetent pig. How dare he.

I sigh and sit her up to face me. "Well, men are awful creatures, the lot of them. But you are stronger than this, Liza. You can bounce back from this. You are smart and beautiful and kind. You'll be okay, Eliza, I promise." I say strongly but quietly enough as to not disturb her. She nods slowly.

"I know, Angie. It's just, I loved him so much. So, so much." She says and I nod.

"I know you did." I say stroking her hair. _I did, too_. She sobs again, quieter and gentler.

She laughs a bitter, sad laugh and squeezes my hand. "But that's not what hurts. What hurts is that I still love him. Even after everything he's done, I can't stop loving him. I love him so much it hurts, because I want to hate him. He hurt me. Why can't I just be mad at him? That would be so much easier." She says, starting to sob louder. I know what she means. Alexander. I loved him so much. He was smart and handsome and kind and witty and brave. But I let him go, and now everyone's suffering. I'm lonely and miserable, Eliza is all alone, and his career is probably over. I should be glad. He deserves his punishment. I should be mad at him, hate him, despise him for what he did to my sister, but for some reason, that doesn't mean I want him any less.

I pull her into another tight hug. "Oh, if only it were that easy. The heart never sees reason. But you must rest. Peggy can only watch the children for so long. She has her own, you know." I tease gently, helping her up. She wipes her now calming face. It only took hours, but she's finally out of tears. I feel a wave of relief. I feel like if she didn't stop soon, I might start crying myself. She sniffs and blinks her eyes, as if that would help the tears that cover her face.

She nods. "Thank you, Angie. I'm going to go to sleep now, so I may pick up Philip and the others in the morning. Do you think Alexander will try to come home?" She asks quietly, turning away from me.

I feel blood rush to my head. "He better not. I'll chase him out myself if he tries." I say, rubbing her shoulder. I look at her and see that she's not listening. I follow her gaze to where an open wooden box filled with elegantly folded pieces of parchment. The love letters. That man could make palaces from paragraphs, rebuild cathedrals. That man could woo you with words on a page, make you forget yourself.

I hear her laugh. Empty and bitter. "That he could." I blush, not realizing I'd said that out loud. "I should have listened. You told me to be careful. That he'd do anything to survive. He did, and it broke me." She let's just a single tear fall, then runs to the box. She pulls all the letters out in a single hand. "Get me a quill and a piece of parchment, please." I go to the desk by the fireplace and grab her the items she asked for, as well as a vile of ink. She places the letters on the ground and writes out something, quick and elegant.

 _Alexander,_

 _I saved every letter you wrote me from the moment I read them. I knew you were mine. You said you were mine. I thought you were mine_

 _Do you know what Angelica said when we saw your first letter arrive? She said "Be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive."_

 _You and your words flooded my senses. Your sentences left me defenseless. You built me palaces out of paragraphs. You built cathedrals. I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me. I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line. For some kind of sign. And when you were mine, the world seemed to burn._

 _You published the letters she wrote you. You told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed. In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives. Do you know what Angelica said when she read what you'd done? She said "You have married an Icarus. He has flown too close to the sun."_

 _You and your words, obsessed with your legacy… Your sentences border on senseless and you are paranoid in every paragraph. How they perceive you._

 _I'm erasing myself from the narrative. Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted when you broke her heart. You have torn it all apart. I am watching it burn. Watching it burn_

 _The world has no right to my heart. The world has no place in our bed. They don't get to know what I said. I'm burning the memories. Burning the letters that might have redeemed you._

 _You forfeit all rights to my heart, you forfeit the place in our bed. You sleep in your office instead, with only the memories of when you were mine._

 _I hope that you burn_

 _Eliza_

With an angry flourish, she finishes. Gently she places the quill away and folds the letter daintily into three parts. She picks up an envelope but doesn't get sealing wax. She gently writes _Alexander_ on the front and leaves it on the desk. With an angry sniff, she picks up the love letters and turns to the fire. I hear her mumble something under her breath and throw them into the fire. The corners shrivel and blacken, and then each letter seems melt together and then disappears.

I walk over to Eliza and rub her back soothingly. "Nice job Eliza." I say, letting her stare at the fire. When she doesn't say anything, I gently pull her arm. "Come on, let's get you to bed." I walk her away, leaving the burning letters in the fireplace. We walk up the stairs to her room. I help her change and she sits into bed. I sit next to her, waiting for her to fall asleep. She lays there, sniffing quietly, as I stroke her hair.

She begins to settle into bed, and I think she's asleep when she says, "I still love him." I turn to look at her, but she seems asleep. I gently slip away. As I do, I whisper back to the sleeping Eliza, "So do I." I close the door behind her and go back downstairs to sit near the fire. I haven't even been sitting for a minute when the door opens. Expecting to see Eliza, I turn around.

Alexander.

I don't want to talk loud enough to wake Eliza up, but I want to scream and scream at him. He deserves all that and more. He walks into the room and just stands there, perfectly still. I don't think he's drunk, at least he had the dignity not to do that. He looks straight at me, depressed and downcast. I walk up and take a calming breath. Quickly, I raise my hand and slap him across the face. He winces but doesn't react other than that.

Now I'm fuming. "How dare you do that to my sister, you, you pig. She loved you so much and all you did is lie and cheat and betray her. How could you?" He is silent. "When I first met you, I thought you were the smartest man I'd ever met, you know that?" He shakes his head, just barely. "But now I see that you are just like every other man. Oh, but how charming you were. You made me forget my own name, never want to leave. And Eliza, oh she loved you from the first moment she saw you. She loved you so much that I let you go. I love my sister more than anything in the world, and you've just broken her heart. All I want to know is why. _Why_ Alexander?" I finish. I step back.

He looks so pitiful I don't think he's going to answer, when his voice quietly speaks up. "I don't know. It was a mistake, such a mistake. Please believe me when I say that i love your sister more than words. It kills me that I hurt her. I never meant to hurt her like this." He finishes, his eyes begging for forgiveness. I'm tempted to give it to him, until I remember Eliza's tears. I shake my head.

"Well, you did. She's been up there crying all night _because of you_. You betrayed her love and her trust and her kindness. It doesn't matter your intentions. She knows in her head that you didn't want to hurt hurt, she knows that you love her. But her heart knows that you betrayed her, that you broke her. She was one of the strongest people I've ever known, and you broke her. I hate you." I finish angrily. But I can't hate him. And that annoys me so much, because I _can't_ hate him.

He winces at my words. "I love her so much. Before I met her, I didn't know it was possible to love someone as much as I do her. Do you think I could go see her now? To apologize and talk to her?" He asks hopefully. I know he's not lying, but that's not really the point. He hurt Eliza.

I shake my head and his face falls, so I explain. "She needs her sleep. Plus, I'm not sure she'll want to see you yet. Give her time to heal." I say and he nods. I go over to the desk. "She wrote you a letter." I hand it to him and he opens it with quivering hands. He reads it carefully, and I see his face get sadder and sadder.

He refolds the letter when he's done. "She hates me." He says simply. I shrug.

I place my hand on his shoulder for reassurance. "She's just healing, Alexander. She still loves you. She told me so." I say, not exactly knowing why I'm trying to help him when he hurt Eliza. Oh right, I do. He's Alexander.

He nods, seemingly more relaxed. "Okay. Thank you." There's an awkward silence, and neither of us says anything for a moment until he clears his throat. "So, why are you in town?" He asks casually.

I shrug. "To visit my family. I didn't know about this yet, of course, but I'm glad I can be here for her." I answer honestly. Why can't I seem to stay mad at him?

He nods. "Well, um, how's John?" He asks, referring to my husband. Great, now we're on to small talk.

I smile slightly. "He's good." I say, and then the silence is back. He sighs.

"Angelica, do you think she'll forgive me?" He asks. I'm quiet for a minute.

I move forward and rest my hand on his shoulder again. "I know she will." He smiles and without warning, pulls me to him. Our lips meet and I feel myself melt into him for a second before my mind starts working and I push away. I slap him. "Why would you do that?" I ask, quiet but outraged.

He shrugs. "I know I shouldn't have, but it needed to happen at least once. I'm sorry. Don't think that this means I don't love your sister. I love her more than life itself. But I felt that this should happen at least once." He explains. I want to yell at him, but I understand what he's saying.

Still, I nod and glare at him. "This can never happen ever again." He nods in agreement. "It honestly shouldn't have happened now. If what happened with Reynolds broke Eliza, this would kill her." He nods again.

"I completely agree. I'm going to go check on her now, if you don't mind." He says and, once I nod, walks towards the stairs. But all I can think about is the kiss. From the man I used to and probably still love. Who is also my sister's husband. And cheated on her.

 **Eliza's P.O.V**

I lay against the pillow, which is wet with tears. How could Alexander do this to me? I loved him. No, not _loved_. I still love him, even after everything. I thought he was so smart, so kind, so brave. And then he betrays me and Phillip and all the children. How could he? How could I still love him after everything? I hear footsteps. Probably Angelica. I don't turn. I'm looking at where Alexander used to sleep, right next to me, and beyond that, the wall. I close my eyes so Angelica will think I'm asleep. I feel a weight shift on the bed and know that she's sitting next to me. She strokes my head, but her hand isn't her's. It's rougher, calloused. It's only when the mystery person presses their lips to the top of my head that I know who it is.

Alexander.

I don't move away, send him off, show him that I'm awake at all. He strokes my head gently, playing with my hair. He kisses my forehead now, and then whispers something.

"Eliza, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I love you so much. I never wanted to hurt you, but I was stupid and selfish. I was incompetent and awful and I understand if you'll never want to see me ever. But know that, even if you never talk to me again, I'll never stop loving you." He whispers quietly. I hear the honesty in his voice, and I feel my heart melt. I shouldn't forgive him. He was awful and cheated. But how do I stay mad at him when he says stuff like that?

He kisses my cheek, and whispers again. "I'll leave you to your dreams, Eliza. And even though you cannot hear me, I want you to know that I'll dream of you, my love. I'll be gone as long as you need me to, though." He whispers and sits up. I may have a problem. I can't let this man go. This wonderfully brilliantly awfully brave kind lying man. I feel him move out of the bed. This is my only shot. And I can't throw away my shot.

"Alexander, wait." He looks up in surprise. "I hate you so much. But the worst part of all is that no matter what, I can't stop loving you. Stay." I finish. He smiles and walks back. He kisses me quickly.

"I love you, my Eliza."


End file.
